When I blogged about whether or not to do NCT classes, I said that I’d not really made any ‘mummy friends’ first time around (although I must admit, I did strengthen some friendships I already had who had babies around the same time)
At times I felt lonely. I did loads of classes and groups but never clicked with anyone enough to ask if they fancied a coffee or play date. I was in a Facebook group for babies due/born in May 2014 but the members were dotted all around the world.
As it turns out we couldn’t do the NCT refresher course as it clashed with a holiday. So I was nervous about being even more lonely second time around, figuring it would be even harder to make friends second time around, with a toddler occasionally in tow!
I think it’s quite a common feeling, I’ve read so many other blogs from mums over the years about the loneliness of motherhood and the difficulty of making new mummy friends.
Even the legendary ‘Unmumsy mum‘ struggled with this… I really related to the chapter in her book about not doing NCT and throwing herself into every baby group going but struggling to take these friendships to the next level…
Well Dear reader, I’m delighted to tell you that I have made new friends! And in the same way that dating is all about the online dating these days, I initially made these friends online!
I joined another Facebook group for babies due in June 2016, but luckily a handful of members live in South Wales so we’ve met up 3 times and have a whatsapp group for daily baby banter.
And then I joined a local Facebook group for babies born in 2016 and some mums in my local area were on about meet-ups… long story short I’ve met a handful of them at a local baby group, we’ve been for coffee and again, have an all-essential whatsapp group.
So it’s still early days but I like to think we’ll be lifelong friends…. I knew I’d ‘made it’ this time around when I tweeted that I was having a bad day and one of these new friends messaged me to see if she wanted me to pop over… I nearly cried, it was such a sweet gesture from someone I hardly knew…. and it was everything I’d been looking for…. this ‘sisterhood’ of mums.
These Facebook and Whatsapp groups are great for asking for advice, sharing photos of poos, general moaning…. basically anything goes!
So if you’re reading this feeling a little bit jealous, and lonely, like I did when I read about this topic… I guess my message is, keep trying!!
I know how hard it can be to make mummy friends at baby groups where sometimes people are already in cliques etc, or you just don’t hit it off straight away.
Before I met these new friends of mine, I went to another small local meet-up and I knew straight away I wouldn’t see them again – they were all 10 years younger than me and seemed totally different to me.
So try, try, try again…. find some local Facebook groups for mums and just ask who fancies meeting for a coffee or meeting at the local baby group…. it’s a bit like blind date for mums! It’s worth persevering…. good luck, and remember you’re not alone!