When a 12 week scan doesn’t go to plan

We were so blasé, sat there waiting this time, we’d been through this before, we knew what to expect, it would be fine!

We got called into the scan and quickly saw our baby wriggling away on the monitor. Relief. Everything’s fine, we smiled and joked while the radiographer took his measurements.

‘I can’t quite get the baby into the right position, can you sit outside for a bit and I’ll call you back in?’

No problem, we thought, still happy that he/she was wriggling too much to be caught on camera!

We get called back in and scanned again. We get told the nuchal fold is reading high (3.9mm when the safe cut-off is 3.5mm).

We get put in another room so we don’t have to sit in a corridor with all the happy parents-to-be. Midwife comes in. Basically tells us that the odds are that there’s a 75% chance that there’s something wrong with the baby… 50% genetic, 25% something wrong with the heart… So a 25% chance that baby is ‘normal’.

World falls apart.

She tells us our next options are an amnio or something similar. She says we’re referred to the ‘fetal medicine dept’ who we’ll hear from in a few days.

That evening I think we both felt pretty numb, as we both googled away I found there’s a private blood test (nifty) you can have for £500 which will tell you about odds of genetic disorder. (I think this the one now being rolled out in the NHS). A couple of days later I had that, they also scanned us again but said that baby was measuring at 11 weeks so too early to read the nuchal fold.

A week of agonising waiting… we’d agreed to take everything step by step and not make any decisions until we had some hard facts, we couldn’t make decisions based on odds. So I tried not to think about (thought about it at all the time) whether we’d have to terminate the pregnancy due to a life-limiting disorder, or whether we could raise a child with Down’s syndrome.

The test came back good, baby had 3million to one odds of having Down’s or another couple of major genetic disorders. Relief but nerves and uncertainty still prevailed.

A week later we had our first appointment at the fetal medicine department – another scan (this time I was actually at 12 weeks!) and an appointment with the consultant. He said the nuchal reading was now within the safe range, but because they’d spotted it earlier we were still at risk. He estimated that the 75% had dropped down to maybe 25% which would drop down further if the 20 week scan went ok.

He wanted to see us again before Christmas, so I was about 15 weeks. Again, happy with the nuchal fold and a short chat with him gave us much-needed confidence, he thought the odds of there being something wrong were now down to 10%-15%.
We finally started telling people, and could finally start believing that this was happening, we could start bonding with the baby.

So it’s been a very odd start to the pregnancy, if I’d known my dates I wouldn’t have had that first scan at 10 weeks with that reading. If I was a year younger (I’m 35) I wouldn’t be classed as high risk and my poor odds would have been much better. On the plus side, at 20 weeks pregnant I’ve already had 5 scans, 5 chances to see our beautiful wriggly baby. I’ll now get a scan every month, great service from our beloved NHS!

Above all, I can only be grateful. Hopefully we will have a happy ending, our odds are good. I know so many people don’t get their happy ending. I can’t for one minute try to put myself in their shoes, but those few weeks of uncertainty were enough to make me very lucky and blessed that we’ve got this far.

Announcement: 20 weeks pregnant!

We’re 20 weeks pregnant!

I haven’t blogged about it sooner as we had a stressful start which I’ll write about soon enough but we’ve got to the 20 week point and things are looking good 🙂

All being well we’ll be having another little boy in June, a month after W turns 2 🙂

This pregnancy has been so different so far, stressful start aside, I’m not keeping track of the size/developments each week and only taken one bump photo!
Also I had morning sickness this time around which I’d not had before (so assumed it might be a girl, wrong!!)

First time around I was so scared of labour and how I’d deal/bond with my baby. This time around my fears are much more logistical… How will we cope with 2?! How can we survive on less sleep?!!

Of course we’re super-excited and even little W kisses my belly and says ‘baby’ so we think he’s a little bit excited too 🙂



Toddler W’s 20 month update

Our gorgeous boy is 20 months old today! It’s been a joy spending extra time with him over the last few weeks for Christmas etc… It will be a struggle going back to work tomorrow!




The main thing that’s changed since the last update is his vocabulary, not that I was ever worried that he was behind but his language has come on a long way… At the moment he seems to say a new word every day… Some of his new words are toast, cheese, please, bus, car, bath, water, shoes, up, down, all gone….

He can recognise animals in books, and he can do animal noises eg if you ask him what noise a lion makes, he roars… So cute!

He’s still going through a sorting/ordering phase. His favourite thing is lining up cats, all facing the same way… Then moving them to another spot… All in the same order, facing the same way! He literally spent all of Boxing Day doing this!


After the last update I wrote, possibly because of the croup, he became really clingy to his dad. He’d scream if he left the room and followed him everywhere. Thankfully he seems to have moved on from this, and generally he’s had a calm, well-behaved month… He still pulls the occasional tantrum but usually when he’s tired.

Routine, health etc
After the last update we also hit a few weeks of sleep regression where he was waking a few times a night eg midnight and 3am. Again this seems to have gone and we’re back to sleeping through from 7pm to 5-6am.

He still has a 2 hour nap, usually about noon. Sometimes earlier, sometimes shorter, sometimes longer.

A couple of weeks ago he had a bit of a dicky tummy and we had some horrible diarhea nappies, even though he seemed fine in himself. This settled and in the last week or so he hasn’t stopped eating! He loves toast, banana, cheese, pasta, pizza, ham, grapes, oranges, apples…,
And he still loves drinking water, I’ve still not given him any squash/watered down juice yet… He gets plenty of sugar from the little pieces of chocolate his dad sneaks him 😉
Oh he also loves feeding himself yoghurt.

Speaking of sugary treats, I still don’t know if all his teeth are through and still haven’t taken him to a dentist! Bad mum but he does love brushing his teeth twice a day 🙂

Other things we need to start thinking about as well as registering with a dentist are:
-potty training – not saying he’s ready yet, but he does tell us when he’s having a pee or poo, so I might get a potty soon just for him to get familiar with it
– a proper bed – he’s climbed out of his cot bed once in anger (in the sleep regression phase I mentioned)

What we’ve been up to
The weather’s been so awful lately that we haven’t had as many nice walks as we’d have liked. We’ve tried out a few more soft plays! Christmas was nice, he was spoiled with cars and car garages… And a smart trike… And so many toys!